Because I read my last two posts and wanted to jump off a cliff.....

Times have been admittedly tough, but last night I read my blog again and then I couldn't sleep.  It was too depressing.  My situation is depressing, and I will admit that I am struggling with things right now, but I don't want to be known as the female blog equivalent of Lurch. 

^^^^THIS IS NOT ME^^^^

 My spirit is a little wounded, but I still in there, and I am not going anywhere.  I am just hiding in a deep dark cave in my head.  I'll be back.  I promise.  

Here are some things I was thinking about last night while I couldn't sleep after reading my depressing blog... and I was thinking of things people keep saying to me... and how sometimes those things are just weird.  

1.  I was wishing I would win the lottery, and imagining all the GOOD things I would do when I thought, why do people say "If wishes were fishes?"  or do I have that saying wrong?  What good would wishes being fishes be?  That seems rather unfulfilling, and kind of gross.  What is the REST of the saying?    It reminded me of the All State commerical where the guy says, "That's All State's Stand."  For THE LONGEST TIME I thought the guy was saying "That's All State, Stan" as in a guy named Stan.... it didn't really phase me, until one night I asked my husband, "Why do they call everyone Stan in these commercials?  That doesn't make me want to buy insurance..."  Brian looked at me with a strange look then told me that they guy was saying "That's All State's Stand"  not "Stan"  then he laughed at me.... quite a bit, and now every time we see an All State commercial he calls me "Stan".  He is hilarious.... (not really)   

2.  A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.  To this I say keep your bird in the bushes PLEASE.  I am terrified of birds.  They have very beady bird eyes and I am certain that they are just waiting for the opportunity to peck MY eyes out, or poop on my car... or me!  The cause of my fear may have been premature exposure to Albert Hitchcock's The Birds, or common sense... but I do not like birds.  Even a little.  

3.  'Well, it could be worse."  This is always very uplifting thing to hear.   You are right.  It could be worse, but that doesn't really make it any better.  I suppose on top of us both being laid off we could be struck with the bubonic plague, or a freak storm could suck us up in a tornado and we would have to carve our way out of a shark with a chainsaw... that WOULD be worse... but knowing that we could just add those things to our situation doesn't make it any better.  

4. "Did you apply for that job in ________________"  Yes.  Yes I did.  I am thoroughly aware that NOT applying for jobs will make it exponentially more difficult to get a new one.  I have applied, thank you for keeping me on my toes.  

5.  I wish I could be a minion. Okay, nobody says,  "Hey have you considered being a minion?"  (Well besides my friend Danielle and she lives far away.)  It's just something I have been thinking about, and it was getting really late.   Minions are always happy, and six kids ago I could totally rock a french maid outfit,  They are always so friendly, and yellow, and have the ability to just laugh off even the worst situations!  Even when they are evil they are such a nice shade of purple....  

I would be an adorable minion, then I realized that they are all named Doug and Steve and Kevin, and thought maybe girls were not allowed to BE minions... which would be totally unfair, but you know what they say, "Life's not fair.  Deal with it."

So, while I don't know about that job, I'll keep applying.  Even thought I can't be a minion, I will keep telling myself that it could be worse, try to get a bird in my hand (eww), and keep a positive outlook.  Something better is sure to come along soon.  Right Stan?

God is good.  All the time.  

Living the American Nightmare

There are times in life when you just have to sit back and wonder if perhaps in a former life that you don't recall you did something UTTERLY horrible and Karma is coming back to bite you in the a**.   A month ago I was in Hawaii.  On a FREE trip!  Best. Trip. Ever!  I am starting to think maybe I accidentally touched a sea turtle.  

Karma is nipping at my heels, and it's not the good kind either.   I can't help but wonder if some poor turtle is at the turtle oncologist waiting to find out about his flipper cancer from my sunscreen.  (Sorry turtle!)  Either that, or it's just another bump in my crazy life.

However,  this is NOT a feel sorry for myself post (good grief, I'd lose my 13 followers!) it's actually a post about all the GREAT things I am sure are in store, and a way to count my blessings.

I came back from my Scentsy Family Reunion in Indianapolis to find out the my awesome, strong, brave and hardworking husband has also been laid off.  To put it nicely, that leave us up a very stinky creek without a paddle.  We have a house payment, two car payments, a ginormous student loan payment, a slew of credit card bills, and five kids to feed... all on our unemployment.  Being a middle class on a good day type of family we were getting by.  I guess technically it was a version of the American Dream.  We had what we needed, and a little extra thanks to credit cards, and payment plans.    Now we are getting a little scared.  A friend of mine said, nobody knows WHAT to say, because we are living everybody's worst fear, it's the "American Nightmare" and it's true.  We are scared to death, and hoping and praying that good things happen in time enough to make it all work out.  I guess this total lack of security has inspired me to write about all the things I DO have, as counting my blessings is free, and that's about all I can afford right now.

Here is my list of awesome things that I am thankful for, in no particular order.

1.)  My awesome husband.  He may be grumpy at times, and he may swear a lot, and he might not be at every single event that my kids are involved in, but he loves us.  Beyond a shadow of a doubt I know that he is my soul mate, and would do anything he could to keep us all safe.  I am so grateful for his friendship, his ability to see me as sexy (he might need glasses) and his unwavering commitment to me and our family.

2) Speaking of my family I am blessed to have some of the most awesome kids around.  From my sweet, quiet hard working farm boy Noah, to my rock star pitcher Ricky, to my social butterfly Matthew, to my shy animal lover Clara, to my baby diva Ruby.  I am so lucky that they are all quite content in life.  Sure they ask for things, and sure they want things, and to go places, but with a simple "We don't have the money right now" they let it go.  No pouting, no tantrums, no complaining about how their parents are awful and mean, or that everybody else has (insert coveted item here).  They have taken the change with no questions, just trusting that we will continue to take care of them, and love them just like we always have.  While at times they make me want to pull my hair out and hide in a dark cave, they are also the loves of my life.  We will continue working to make sure that they get a little further ahead in life than we have been able to.  Or at least get there a little easier.  To be able to parent such a smart, funny, loud, giggling, polite, and entertaining group of humans is a blessing.  They also are totally content with noodles with butter on them and cereal to eat... yay for Ramen noodles.

3)  Then there are my friends to be thankful for.  From the Scentsy sister who managed to get my resume to the superintendent of my DREAM DISTRICT, to my Wingman, my super friend, to my baseball family, my soul sister, my girls who make me laugh, let me cry, dance, or make up words to songs and love me just the same.  Old friends and new, my life is so much better because of all of you.  Thank you for supporting me, for loving my family, for offering me your basement to live in, or your pool to swim in, cheering on MY kids at sporting events, sewing on a baseball patch, helping me remember what I was trying to say, and praying for me.  Thank you for trusting me with your secrets, for letting me love you, and for encouraging me when I need it.  You are amazing, and my life is so RICH despite everything going on right now because of all of you.  If good friends could be measured in wealth I would surely be on Forbes' Top Ten Richest Women list every year.  

Please don't be offended if your picture isn't listed.  You all know who you are.  <3 p="">

4) I am also thankful for the opportunity to be a Scentsy Consultant.  I know it sounds kind of corny, but to be able to be a part of something that is run by some of the most GENEROUS and GENUINE people I have ever met is nothing short of amazing.  Being a part of the Scentsy Family has given me a spark to hold on to.  The teacher market is ROUGH right now, I've applied for umpteen jobs already and even with fifteen years experience have only gotten "thanks for applying" emails.  It's frustrating, and discouraging, especially when I know that (I even took a test that said so)  I am a good teacher.  So having the opportunity to earn school clothes money, and hopefully some Christmas money, and maybe even another free vacation next summer fills me with hope.  Who knows, one of these days I might be on stage talking about when MY husband got laid off and I just decided to jump in with both feet and make things happen, and how with hard work and dedication we finally managed to buy our dream farm house and have a donkey in the back yard.  (Have I mentioned that we are a family that is easily amused?)  Thank you Scentsy for the opportunity to turn things around.  Look for me on stage next year.  ;)

So while I am in yet another discouraging situation I find that because of my many blessings, I am able to meet the day with a smile, carry on, fan the flames of hope, and look for the signs that better things are coming.  While our life could be looked at as a nightmare by some, I can't imagine it being any better.  Unless of course I won the lotto, that would be better, and of course my offer of class trips to Disney World, and mommy make overs on a tropical island are ON like Donkey Kong.  

To quote one of my my idols..."The stakes are high, the water's rough...this love is ours"  Thank you for loving me.  I am truly blessed beyond measure.

God is good.  All the time.