Sunday, April 29, 2012
Times are tough all around, and I guess until now I have been fortunate to remain relatively unscathed. Of course, we are a family of seven living in a three bedroom house in what many consider to be an "icky" place, so I guess the definition of unscathed is all a matter of perspective.
We've had our fair share of hard times, but we've remained intact, and the kids seem none the worse for the wear. I am a part of my district's negotiations team. A job that would be not much fun in good economic times, it's horrible right now. I am not very good at it. In fact, I am terrible at it. I wept through the last session. A sense of panic set in that I am not sure how to shake. In addition my husband has been laid off, so hearing the changes that are to come in some way, shape, or form is to put it simply, terrifying to me.
I probably don't give my husband enough credit, he is my rock. (There honey, if you ever figure out how to work a computer and how to find my blog you will see in writing how much I appreciate you!) When I came home all a weepy mess he simply said, "We'll be okay."
I've had to change some plans for the summer. There will be no pool membership, no family vacation, and no trip to American Girl. Ruby, I should add took it all in stride. She simply asked if we could send her doll to the doll hospital so she could play with her. I think that's a pretty fair deal considering we had been planning a trip to Chicago!
Yesterday was our Opening Day for baseball. It's one of my favorite days of the year as it signals the beginning of ball season, and all the hustle and bustle that goes with it! I love spending my days and nights watching my children play ball. My friends are there, my children's friends are there, and there is a real sense of community down at the fields. Working together, we manage to provide an almost magical memory making place for our kids, not to mention a really awesome bunch of ball players! My kids love being down at the fields, and they run wild with their friends while at games and practices. Our fields are not for the faint of heart. They're near train tracks, and (gasp) a run down trailer park, but I don't think my kids have ever even noticed. While they are there, they are a part of that proverbial village being raised by the many parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles that fill our fields any night of the week.
I guess it was the ballpark yesterday that helped put everything in perspective for me. I don't need to move somewhere better, I don't need to have a fancy house, car, or clothes to be a part of something meaningful. If I can manage to hold on to what I have I will be alright. Everything I care for, need, and want is here with me already.
So while the future is uncertain and scary, I've decided to be okay with that. I am certainly not the only one in that boat, and I can sit around feeling angry or sorry, or I can choose to make the best of it. I will cut back, buckle down, and weather the storm. In fact, I might even choose to learn to dance in the rain... (I've heard there can be money in that....)
God is good. All the time.