Our Secret...

I've been accused (and frequently as of late) of doing LOTS of things with Ruby, and not much with Clara.  Ruby is a starlet.  There is no denying this.  It's a part of who she is, and it's hard NOT to get sucked into the fun of it all.  Doesn't every mom dream of having a girly girl who loves sparkles, and sequins and being in the limelight?  After three boys, it is THIS mom's dream come true.  On the other hand, I have this serious, intelligent, thoughtful daughter who is a blessing to me.   Clara is my snuggle bug, my insightful, cautious, shy, and wonder filled daughter.  I love her more than words can say, but with the rash of accusations lately, I started to second guess myself.  

I've tried to sign Clara up for things.  Dance class was a fiasco (all three times), twirling was a no go (despite her obvious talent when she thinks nobody is watching), and she has chosen to play baseball, and soccer, and basketball, which she refers to as "that game with the orange bouncy ball".  We went out last night and got her new cleats, and she's getting her own bat and helmet for Easter.  I am trying to be just as excited and supportive of all the things that she enjoys as well.  

So this morning as we were waking up (she sneaks into my bed every night) I asked her if she thought I loved her.  She immediately answered "yes".  Feeling brave, and a little bit scared, I asked if she thought I loved her and Ruby the same.  She thought for a minute, and answered, "Well, not exactly."  My heart dropped and my eyes began to water and in my head I started adding up the cost of years of therapy sure to be ahead.  Despite this I asked, "What do you mean sweetie?"  

Clara looked at me as if I were insane and said "Well, I know you love me a little bit more, but don't worry mom.  I won't tell Ruby." 

God is good.  All the time.